Walk in the parent shoes

 Imagine you are sitting in a room full of strangers starting blankly at you. Some looking concerned while others looking at their watches. You are tossed over 20 pages of papers in the moments you arrive. While staring blankly at them you just want to cry and run from the room. You are told multiple times your child can't do this or this. You barely catch the peoples' names, let alone what they are saying. Out of concern for your child, you sign whatever hoping that maybe this might finally help your child. That the countless nights of screaming while doing homework or the "I hate school" comments might just be ending soon. You leave in a world wind hoping that whatever that was might be the key. What if I told you this crazy, numbing experience is what happens in some IEP meetings and how parents feel leaving your buidling. Yes, some not all, however, I think one meeting like this isn't fair to the parents. This is why I always start with introductions, then an ice breaker, and finally parents get to talk first about their child. For the introductions I have each person say their name and how they help or will help the student. After everyone is done. We go back around and as an ice breaker each person must say at least one positive about the student. By starting this meeting this way it lets the parents know who everyone is and also begin to relax by hearing good things about their child. I have been in many meetings where, when we start talking about the positives the parent interrupts the first or second person saying wait isn't this just about what they can't do. This mind set of course we want to change. After everyone has stated their positive we then go into the traditional meeting. As IEP team members we need to be able to pay attention to the parent's feelings. If we notice a parent is struggle with the information we may need to go back, take a break, or discuss the information being presented in those moments a little more. To wrap up the meeting I  have each person say a wish or something that want to help the student gain. It could be academic or something more personal. For example, " my wish for Sam is he builds the confidence to do great things in math class". By doing all these things we can make an IEP meeting more successful for the parents. Finally, thought I leave with all my special education teacher colleagues remember we conducted many IEP meetings in a year, but parents only experience one or two a year. This is not a normal day for them.